Living Without a Mind’s Eye: Navigating the World of Aphantasia

For as long as I can remember, I’ve never had the ability to visualize things in my mind. There’s a term for it: aphantasia. It’s a condition where you don’t experience mental imagery, which sounds like a small thing—but it’s really not, at least not when it comes to how I interact with the world.  Apparently, there is a small percentage of the world (that they know of) that has this unusual way that their brain is wired.  

I’ve spent years not knowing this was something different about me. I assumed that when people talked about visualizing—about picturing things in their minds—it was just another one of those things I hadn’t quite grasped. But as I grew older, I realized something wasn’t quite right. People could describe a scene in vivid detail, conjuring images in their minds. They could close their eyes and see things—be it a past memory, a fantasy scene, or even just their to-do list for the day. For me? Blank space. No mental images. Nothing but emptiness. But SOMETIMES in my dream state, I'm the 'observer' and I realize that within the dream state, I'm visualizing in color and clarity. I have a very brief moment of specifically connecting the dots that this must be what others 'see' when in their mind's eye mode.

It’s not that I can’t imagine. I can imagine—I just don’t imagine visually. For years, I wondered if that was a problem. If I was “missing out” on something. But over time, I’ve come to learn that imagination takes many forms. While others visualize in pictures, I tap into a deeper knowing, a feeling, a sense of the thing I’m thinking about. My mind works more in abstract concepts, feelings, and words, rather than pictures.

When someone asks me to “picture a sunny day,” I don’t see the blue sky and the sun shining. Instead, I feel the warmth of the sun, the gentle breeze, the sensation of standing outside. It’s not a mental image I’m processing, it’s a direct experience of what that feeling would be like. It’s a little like feeling the world through your skin, rather than your eyes.

At first, it was difficult to navigate a world that’s so image-based. Most of our education, self-help practices, and even our media is built on the assumption that visualization is a natural part of the human experience. And it’s easy to feel like something’s “wrong” when you don’t have access to that. But over time, I’ve embraced my own way of interacting with the world. I’ve learned to rely on intuition, sensation, and feeling to guide me instead of visual images.

Aphantasia doesn’t make me “less than” or “broken”—it’s just another way of being. Another way our brains are differently wired.

So, when we talk about imagination and creativity, let’s remember that they don’t look the same for everyone. Some of us don’t see pictures in our heads, but that doesn’t mean we lack depth. For me, it’s not about what I can see, but about what I can feel, sense, and understand in my own unique way. And over time, that’s become something I deeply appreciate.